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Member since March 18, 2007 - Page Hits: 1027

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007 - 10:29 PM

The silliness of it all...

Breathing is for pussies. I mean, come on, who the fuck needs oxygen anyways? Seriously.


"Oxygen gets you high."

I was told that I should go to the ER by the resident nurse at Johns Hopkins Riverside. I think that's a stupid idea. The last time I went to the ER, there was talk of losing my thumb. The time before that, they wanted to amputate my big toe. If I go now, they might want to amputate my brain. That might be kind funny, actually. They could stitch it onto a giant spider's body. Maybe even attach a few flailing tentacles on it. That would be awesome. Hmmm, that's a foundation for a painting right there!

So yea.
Aliens are controlling my body by remote control. I think I was just some random experiment for some super genius species of poultry. I mean, it makes sense. They rigged me up a people suit, connected a few wires to some artificial limbs, gave me a voice box with interchangeable dialect translator, and viola. Just to make it interesting, they predestined me to be of the 'visually stimulated variety.'
Now, with all the thickening blanket of greenhouse gases caused by our oil epidemic, and the ever-increasing perpetual-motion satellites spinning around our faces, they are losing primary guidance function of their little experiment(s). Yes, plural. just to be safe.

Well, it could be true....and sometimes I'd like to to be true. Then I would actually have an explanation to my square peg/round hole dilemma. Or maybe that is supposed to be round peg/square hole...

Truth is, it doesn't matter if it's square or round, enough thought can molecularly transform the third dimension to fit neatly in an a 2-D overhead compartment. One can also make light bulbs transform to a glittery liquid that tastes delicious in a broth-based roux.
On next week's episode: Cooking with molecular and atomic particles in a delicious asian stir-fry!!! Don't miss it!!!
[end transmission.]

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“The silliness of it all...” Comments

NeVeK said on Wednesday, June 27, 2007 - 11:51 PM

haha and I thougt I had a colorfull imagination

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