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Tattoo Kit Instructions!

And can I stick my arm in this computer printer?

by AdamSkyArtist

April 29, 2005

Got a question about tattoos but you were too afraid that the big, burly biker tat-dude was going to ride his chopper over your Isuzu for just for asking? Go ahead and fire Toodles an email! Let's explore more quandries from this week's Tattoodles mail bag...

Dear Toodles

Hi, im looking for some chinese symbols for a tatt but i have had no luck finding them what im looking for is the symbols for Trust No Bitch where can i find them or can you send me the symbols?
thanks.....

William

Dear William,

Will, you are a man after my own heart. I mean for real, how can anyone trust a bitch!? I can see why you would trust a complete stranger to send you lettering in a language you donít understand to get tattooed on your body forever, but a bitch!? Hells naw!

I went ahead and sent you the characters, now some wise guy who reads Chinese might try and tell you that they actually say "Iím a Saucy Partyboy" but they are just jealous bitches. And we ALL know that you canít be trustiní no bitches.

Dear Toodles,

I've heard of a guy doing tattoos with computer ink. It shocked me when i first heard it. Do you know if this is harmful/safe? Thanks for any info that you can provide.

James

Dear James,

Well James, its no secret that there is a lot of way to do a tattoo. Thereís the ole prison style with a tape recorder motor, guitar string, a shiv and couple packs of smokes. Then thereís the traditional "tattoo party" where you get to share some brews, some tunes, and some hepatitis with all your friends. Some folks see these type of "amateur" tattooers as scratchers and hacks who should be lined up and beaten by the legion of "customers" who have been given infected scarred up "tattoos" by these clowns. Some folks see it that wayÖ but not me.

No, to me those guys are discoverers! Explorers on the fringe of tattooing whose diligent "experiments" have answered time honored questions. Questions like "will this rusty sewing needle cause an infected boil and lockjaw?" Or how would we have ever discovered that "a guitar string makes more scar than tattoo" without he work of these pioneering souls? Indeed your guy using computer ink might just be on the cusp of discovery! Who knows what new lands this Columbus of the basement tattoo will discover!? Will it be a festering scab, a runny wound, or maybe a whole new form of rash never before seen!!!!

I get all tingly just thinking about it.

Dear Toodles,

hey toodles i got drunk wid my mate that inks only prob is we were both drunk and wat was sposed to be on my shoulder is now on my wrist and incomplete any suggestions its a huge flaming heart candy.

Australia

Dear Australia,
Iíve been known to tip a few beers back myself. . Ok a lot of beers . . . a keg really . . . couple kegs. . hmmm. . OH! Anyway, letís just say that I, too, have gotten lightly inebriated on a few occasions. Iíve mistaken my car keys for the house key, Iíve mistaken my buddies girlfriend for a hooker, Iíve even mistaken a policeman for urinal once. . . but Iíve never mistaken a wrist for a shoulder.
Your letter points out a very serious problem with drinking and tattooing, and that problem is drunks not FINISHING their tattoos. I mean if your dumb enough to get tattooed while three-sheets-to-the-wind then you should DEFINITELY have to WEAR the finished . . .er. . . masterpiece to remind you and everyone else of the wonderful few hours of drunken creativity and their permanent souvenir.

Dear Toodles,
im looking for some ideas on a tattoo ,on the looney tune caracter taz,can u help,pictures would be great.............ty

Dear Ty,
You will have to excuse my startled speech Ty, because Iíve just had my mind BLOWN! I mean the idea of Taz as a tattoo, WHOA. How come none of us thought of this years ago?! Itís so damn perfect, he's wild and zany, and yet cute and adorable all at the same time. . itís like heís a mutant of Charles Manson and a puppy! Dude, you are SO onto something here that it might sound like an exaggerationÖ but I really think that MILLIONS of people will be getting a Taz once this idea breaks.
We better get our asses started on a whole TAZ section PRONTO!

Dear Toodles
hi my name is danielle .. you have prob seen alot of tattoo . can you please tell me what this symbolizes or what kind of bird this is .. or what does the bird symbolizes cause i not aloud to get this tattoo unless i know what it means so can u please help me .. asap

Dear Danielle,
U not aloud? Y U not aloud? O, cause if U dont no whut it meen, U not aloud.
Luckily, I get asked this question about this kind of bird about 900 times a day. Itís called a swallow, bluebird, or swift and in the old days (the old days is what we call the time when people spelled out "you" instead of just using a single letterÖ) sailing was a dangerous business so a lot of superstitions evolved to help sailors deal with their fears. When you were at sea for a long time and had almost made it home, one of the signs that you were near land was the appearance of "shore birds" over your ship, so seeing a robin or a swallow meant you were nearing land. These guys would get tattoos of them as a kind of talisman to protect them from being lost at sea.

Toodles

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